On Motherhood: Finding Fortitude In The Prophet Muhammad’s Teachings

Mom, Anne, Mutti, Daye – I have said “mother” in all of the four languages I grew up with. 

Yet, it was only after I became a mother myself that I truly understood the depth and the meaning of what motherhood entails. It continues to be the most transformative experience of my life. Becoming a mother has been the most physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually challenging transformation of my human existence. It seems as mothers are growing, guiding, and nurturing a human being, they equally evolve and change forever through their children. For those who are not parents, the capacity to nurture and guide the next generation remains within every human’s nature.

Motherhood, with all of its joys, can also be a terribly lonely and sad experience: the pain and exhaustion of your body, the postpartum blues and mental strain, the sleepless nights, the tears, the constant worries and the never-ending questioning and guilt to make sure that you give your best to this new human being. As a society, we acknowledge and honor the hard and selfless sacrifices of mothers, especially on Mother’s Day. Yet, we still fall short in offering holistic support and care in many areas of life. 

In those moments in which I feel alone and overwhelmed by the endless demands of motherhood, I turn to the spiritual resources of my Muslim faith that continue to sustain my heart and strengthen my soul. Our Prophet Muhammad’s teachings on maternal care and his own expression of love towards his mother even after her death offer me comfort in times of distress. A few of them are particularly close to my heart:

Every motherly hardship is rewarded as highlighted in many Qur’an passages that were delivered by Prophet Muhammad to his community:

“We [God] have commanded the human being to be good to his parents: his mother struggled to carry him and struggled to give birth to him – his bearing and weaning took a full thirty months. In time, when the child reaches their prime at the age of forty, they pray, ‘Lord, help me to be truly grateful for Your favours to me and to my parents; help me to do good work that pleases You; make my offspring good. I turn to You; I am one of those who devote themselves to You,’” [Surah Al-Ahkaf; 46;15]

“And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.” [Surah Luqman; 31;14]

“Paradise is beneath her feet.” [PC: M T Elgassier (unsplash)]

These verses make clear that devotion to God entails love and care for parents, particularly for mothers who experience so much hardship. Such honorable statements felt uplifting to me in moments in which I felt unheard, and my struggles were invisible to others. They reminded me that raising a child is a profoundly spiritual act. A Prophetic narration that speaks also to motherhood as an act of worship states, if a pregnant woman dies during childbirth, she attains the highest state of martyrdom.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “In that case the martyrs of my nation would be few. Being killed in the cause of Allah is martyrdom; dying of the plague is martyrdom; when a pregnant woman dies in childbirth, that is martyrdom; and dying of drowning, or burning, or of pleurisy, is martyrdom.”

The mother is most deserving of good treatment, as expressed also in this song, which I often sang with my daughters.

According to this narration, a man came to Prophet Muhammad and asked, “O Messenger of God, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” The man further asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” 

Paradise lies under the feet of mothers. Probably the most well-known narration within the Muslim community, this statement by our Prophet Muhammad highlights the utmost importance of motherly care, respect, and attention.

It was narrated from Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet ﷺ and said: “O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.”

What greater encouragement can be mentioned than the kind treatment of mothers being a gateway to personal eternal bliss and happiness?

In seventh-century Arabian society, marked by misogyny in which women were degraded, these sacred narrations were revolutionary. They still ring true today and present a call for action on an individual and collective level. Many mothers – and by extension fathers – long for quality connection and regular time with their adult children, who can be caught up in the business of life. Widespread neglect and social isolation of the elderly, particularly among women, is now well-documented. Needless to say that abusive and harmful parent-child relationships are outside of this discussion and deserve an entirely separate treatment. 

In times of migration and mobility, biological parents may live far away. However, we can still spend time with motherly and fatherly figures around us who yearn for company. Prophet Muhammad’s teachings call us to implement positive life changes and policies in which mothers, parents, and by extension, all those who are the most vulnerable, feel more fully seen and supported by love and care.  

Related:

– Mothers: Honoring The Longing, The Losses, And The Love

– Difficulties Are Our Biggest Blessings: Notes From A Bereaved Mother With Three Calls From Jannah

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